It's fine. On the persuit of happiness.

I thought I ran out of tears, and become stone-hearted. But I prove myself wrong. Cried myself to sleep last night. That cry baby is back. Why? I don't know. As I take my usual final look on your picture on my desktop before I go to bed, tingling feeling gets to my nose and tears starts dripping down. I miss you so much. And I can't take it.

So what if I'm not your priority when it comes to partner? So what if you bear someone special to you in your heart? So what? You are not cheating on me, physically. However, mentally you're not off the hook. So what? I asked myself. So what? I would still love you hopelessly. I still cannot or rather don't want to drag myself away from you. I love you so. After all, you gave me a chance to be with you. You try to protect me from the hurting truth that I am not meant to discover. Maybe you do care about me after all. Maybe. So I don't have to worry. Maybe. I should hold on to that chance, cuz there's nothing else I want to do in regards to this situation, apart from keep on loving you. As long as I feel for you, then that's the least I need to keep going. If you are willing to be with me, I don't mind if I have to give it all. I don't mind if I'm the one putting more love into the relationship. I don't mind, cuz I love you, and love I shall give. I will leave you up for your own decision or leave it to fade or change. I'll give you the love that I can offer. Hope that you'll see me one day...

Although I'm afraid and I'm scared, I'm trying to be strong. There may be times that I tumble, but I should find my feet and stand up. I'm going along with my favorite song. And I want you, cuz be with you makes me happy and feel alive. For this, I'm willing to take my chances...

================

Happy - Leona Lewis

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose, you can't have everything
Don't you take chances, you might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain 'cause love won't set you free
I could stand by the side and watch this life pass me by
So unhappy, but safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy, ya
Just wanna be happy, ya

Holding on tightly, just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role, slowly disappear, oh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names, get me out of here
But I can't stand by your side, oh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy, oh, happy, oh

So any turns that I can't see
Like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim, don't say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground?

I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy, oh, yeah, happy, oh, happy
I just wanna be, oh, I just wanna be happy
Oh, happy