...

[Why do I need to wake up...] so maybe there is a chance for the endless tomorrow...?
I tried to hold back, and managed keep away from most of our memories, yet tears drop on my pillow.  One after the other.  My face was emotionless, but my tears tell everything.

The other hard part is to wake up in the morning the next day, which in this case is today.  I need to hide my swollen eyes and act normal as I would in my regular days, both at home and at work.  If I live alone then I wouldn't need to face something like this, and I can call in sick... emotionally hurt could do for the excuse...  Anyways, that is why I wouldn't cry all out... save troubles for the next day.  And my dignity... I will not allow it to be stepped upon.  I choose to be with you no matter what other people says, tho rarely anyone know about it.  So, when I'm hurt, I have no right to turn to my family and friend and seek for a shoulder to cry on, and ask for comfort.  When you don't take advice from someone, you loose the right to break in front of them when things go as they've warned...  And I will not give in... as I did... to save a relationship.  I've did it once, it didn't work... wont happen again... wont... wont...

I'm glad you still like me tho...  At least... at least... That is like a fire that don't want to be extinguished.  Where do this lead to...  I'm not certain how this friendship thinging will work out...  Maybe I will try to gain back my weight a few weeks from now... cuz I don't have appetite, I only want to vomit...