Friday, after 5, you asked if I can go over. Sadly I can't. I am in Belize City. Even if I were in Belmopan, I can't, cuz I have a class to go to in the evening. I asked if Saturday will be a better day, you said that you might not be home.
Saturday morning about 6 so~ you texted if I can go. Of course I want to go. So I went to ask mom. She was upset. Well... just imagine that usually someone have to wake me up, more than once, and Saturday morning I am awoke before anyone else just because I want to go to City... for animation? She said that Mic can just download it for me and so on... Mom knows me well. That once I set my mind to do something, I'm almost deadly stubborn that I want to do it. Wonder where does that come from in my genes.... Then she said something like, if you are going to date then just tell me. I was speechless. And she thinks that she got it right. I told her that it is not totally. It's this person I like, but we are not really that kind of relationship. In a tiny sense that is correct tho... just interpretation may be different. I like you. I am almost sure that I love you. But you may not feel the same. And in my age, talking about relationship will be like... heading-to-married kind of serious relationship, which is what I would want. But since future is uncertain, and you are not totally into it yet, I guess it's better just stay as what I said. I like you but we are not really in that kind of relationship, yet. Then she asked a series of questions like, how do I know you... I said I know you since you were study in UB not so well, but then we reconnect afterward. Which in fact is true... I believe I saw you on campus. She asked if it's through internet again. Ay... internet is a place where you can meet "dragons and lions" (which means dangerous ppl) and she said that I just can't learn the lesson... I agreed that I am too bold... but I just cannot say it, cuz somehow I feel that through internet I get to know a person's inner side before I put judgment based on their appearance. Maybe it's another brain wash by my ex-net affair, which my mom totally worries and disapprove of, which I also understand... I seems not to be a good child huh... Then she asked about your job, and if you are a Taiwanese or local, and what else I don't remember. She didn't ask about your family tho, nor age, nor appearance, and other stuffs. I guess I kinda pull it through by telling her that I'm not the only one that knows you in real life. I mention Jackie, Abil and Vic/Rex. And just a brief description of how you know them. And that I checked with Jackie and she said that you are a good person to be friend with, which is true, I did checked with her since like February. I guess, based on the good status of Jackie and Abil in my mom's eyes, she temporarily conclude that you wont be bad. And then I promise to help with lunch... and other stuff... So, she let me off the hook... em... not very willingly. Oh by the way, since they were still in bed, my dad was there too.
As I return to my room to update you, and I heard them talking softly in their room. Next thing I notice, my dad went to wash rice to get cook by rice cooker as I head towards the kitchen. I told him sorry... I just feel sorry... He gave me a pat on the shoulder. Then mom join the kitchen. I told her sorry, and I cried... She got suspicious on why will I say sorry, cuz she knows more inside story on my past relationship. I said I was just sorry about the whole thing and I were not doing what I suppose to do, in this case it means like... tasks she asked me to do... She said about relationship, there is nothing that she can say, but yes I should complete the tasks she assigned me... Somehow I feel that they give in, at least for right now since I said that we are not in a relationship yet, since I'm more or less... um... the age to make my own family... So it's totally normal if I want to go date or something. Secretly, I feel sorry that I fell too fast and too deep, you know what I'm saying... I may end up hurting myself, and they don't want that. I am being crazy about you... bold, adventurous, taking risk... not something I normally will do, but fantasize doing... maybe I am not crazy, I just finally willing to take my risk to pursue something that may seems to be unrealistic and dreamy...
Anyways, when I am almost ready, you said something came up and I end up did not went. But somehow I think it's still worth it cuz I let my parents aware of your existence, and since we are just "friend" for right now, I guess no pressure on you. And I didn't let them know that you are the same one that breaks my heart on March... It will cause a bad impression and I don't want that...
I miss you.... And I really wish that I could go.
[I don't know why I feel for you, but I just do.]
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