Exploration to a new phase of relationship

I've been reading.

I've been browsing a lot on internet on articles related to "obsessive" "clingy" "needy" etc.  I figured, if it's a matter I need to face, it will be better if I will face it with some knowledge and with guides.  I have to slap myself awake from my fantasy, and thinking that love can solve all problems in a relationship.  I've find some very helpful tips, reasonable and seems to be useful.  I now realize that I was being too naive about being in a relationship.  Love alone does not solve the problems, does not solve my problems.  You are still around, well you hadn't left yet.  But, whether or not you're there when I become the woman I wish to become, I remain thankful.  That you are in my life, to point out this problem to me, something that my past boyfriends do not.  I am thankful for this.  And that you hadn't left yet.  Please... I need time to adjust myself... to become a new me.  Please be there to see me evolve.

Yes, I am afraid to loose you.  Very afraid.  Cuz you are different.  And I love you.  And I crave for your love.  But this itself should not let me return back to that girl I used to be.  Though I miss those days that we can just love with our hearts and does not care what the world becomes, but time is different.  I have to grow up.  I have to grow out of it.  Sadly but truely...  Being naive in relationship will not lead me anywhere near happiness.  It will just ruin it, as I cannot handle it properly, as I cannot understand you, worse about able to make your life a better one.  You don't deserve this, neither do I.  You deserve a better woman, and I deserve to become a better woman.

I will grow, as I have always grow, in good or bad.  I will grow into an individual that I will feel prouder and prouder about.  I hope I can become someone you will find more interest in, someone you will want to spend time with, someone that will make your life better.  Maybe it seems that I still revolve around you.  Well, my intention is to become a better self, in a relationship.  You are just the motivation, a strong one.  It will benefit, if not us, me in the long run.  I'm glad that I am given this chance to see a deeper level in a relationship, thanks all to you.  Thanks for being truthful and gave me a wake up call.

[I love you.][I do.]


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Um... let me list out things I can do for myself...

Finish the speech.. = =
Finish the animation
Finish Twilight Saga
Study Spanish
Study English vocabulary from a dictionary
Generate idea to promote home business
Work hard at work........ harder
Take care of myself
Iron clothes?
Watch series
Clean my room....... ha ha ha
Take class next semester
SLEEP

ok... I think that will be enough for now.  Kambade, Betty!  This time shouldn't only be talking!!! You have to change yourself!!!  You have to become better!! Better!!!  Or else, you do not deserve a man like him! HEAR!