Conclusion

After a week of battling with myself... I hereby draw a conclusion....
I think too much.

Way too much.
And I'm glad that I express it just by writing (typing), or talk to a friend. So that you didn't have to know what's going on in my mind, all the while. It will drive you crazy and get you so annoyed, I believe. Glad that I hold back the texting, cuz you don't need to know...

A friend said, "He's just not that into you."
Well, I told myself, "We've just started. Of course you are not that into you. You don't know me that well well, neither do I." So, I shall revisit this question in the future, if we survive til the future comes...

A friend said, "You have a weird relationship."
Well, I think I will comfort myself that it is just a "unique" one. The way we interact is strange indeed. New couples are usually passionate about their relationship, so on and so forth, and that made our one seems too calm... But calm is good, and I wander if we are really "new" or...@@? I don't know. Anyways, we started in a not so common way, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised if we interact in a not so common way? Anyways, that's how you wanted, maybe? So, that's how it will be done... your way, how you like it.

I wander if you are testing me. Testing my patient, my characteristic, see if I'd get angry with you, see if I'd smother you again, and so on. Or just see if I can handle the normal you, the real you. I feel that I'm going through the filter you set. I really hope that I can pass it. I'm not known for my patient and persistence, but maybe my stipudity (some ppl say naive) in love can help me. If it is a challenge. Bring it on. (Just don't over do it, ok?)

Afterall, we are unique individuals. We born alone, we die alone. I cannot share you pain, and you cannot share mine. We can only work together, to make it bearable, or hopefully to make life happier. Thus, I should get back to my normal routine, as if you had never return. Make each other the topping of the cake. So we don't give each other pressure, and enjoy our time together. Although, I would live for you, you can be the sun and I can be the sun flower, but I guess you don't want me to. However, I don't want my "coperation" makes you feel that I'm cheap, or easy. I'm just working on my part, to fit your way. I have feelings, and I'm sensitive. And since this is a "love" relationship, I would expect see some love from time to time tho.... Even when you're busy, a morning or night text will made my day. I don't ask much... really... (I think)

I'm giving myself reasons to believe in you, to trust you, and that you really take us seriously. I hope tha I am not making a fool of myself. But you know what, I don't mind. Cuz there is nothing else I can do, when I feel so much about you. I keep myself content by replaying those little moments that touch my heart. Just wish you can help me out a little. Meet me more ofthen. So that I can have sufficient memories to be optimistic and content with our relationship, when you get too busy and we can't meet. Btw, you don't like FB, cuz ppl interferring, I understand... But I think you misunderstood when I said that I can give you my account... which means, I don't mind you using my account if you want to see what I have up there.

Since you don't like to take picture, when I get a chance to, I will look at you closely and carefully, hope that your features will get embedded clearly in my mind.

And even the me writing this post here is thinking too much. Talk too much, gial~ Go do your work!!

Betty, chill... He ain't gonna see this... Talk to yourself is enough, don't get too crazy, alright!?